Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in A Cat Called Dan's LiveJournal:

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Monday, September 11th, 2006
2:27 am	bleeding my go di bled like a fuckin nut last night :S more then usaul it was weird, it was really kool :D it actully ran down my arm from my shoulder to my elbow an dround!!!!!! was liek wow lol i can bleed alot, wanna bleed again! seems fun can make pictures from it i had so much to drink, smoke (roleys), nothign to eat n no sleep its makinme shake aswell, and im very very tense, feel like bursting owell, i can let it out sometime when it comes :D (Comment on this)
2:23 am	If im not dead enough for life, am i alive enough for death If im not dead enough for life, am i alive enough for death people are so goin to slander me for thsi blog but i dotn give a fuck about what anyone thinks i fits bad!!!!! emo was only made up few years back, anyone thinks its a shamefull thign to cry or be upset with stuff is just stupid, everyone crys, everyone hurts, everyone has bad times..u can never be judged for this because the whole world would be emo, obviously apart from george bush...oooo i wnet there lol!!!!! just blatently i dotn want to be classed under this for havin a soppy moment or two?! u get me?!bu tthem call me emo, i dont care..i no im not Really dotn ant to sleep again... even tho i only got 2hours th eoter ay n sleep at 6am yesterday i dn twana sleep again tonite, ill just play on my fotty game again tonite, again, n look out side at everythign as alwasy takin it ll in even tho ive seen it a million times before, still has some kin dof wierd feeling to it!!! i feel liek sumtimes, before along wile bk n very recently, the only thing kept me here was my sister, but that was cos it was her birthday, i actully liek my parents..they let me grow up to be me, never really stopped me or hit me or did anything out of line...there just original rockers/teddy people(and no, not as in bears lol) er ya lol i hate it when it becomes to much to even think about, it all comes to me n i panic n cnt breath properly if at all, co si think about how easy things are to do, n it scares me how vivid i can imagine them, like now..things always seem really confusing and u can get away from the feeling an dit sliek some kin dof rush and bein scared, or petrified of it, everythign around seems motionless and distant i feel so fuckin sick inside(and not cos of drink or roleys) i dont even no if i can cry, i feel like i want to, but it just aint happining feels liek i hav ethis massive great weight in my chest/stomach/neck...its just like waitin there, feels like im just goin to burts into a fit of..somthing i can tell if its tears or anythign liek that? whats the fuckin point....gnngngngngngngngngngngngngnggngnr something tells me that ill be here 2moro...n i dotn want to be...at all...i feel so fuckin shit, i almost put man :S im startin to talk to myself in like theres 2 of me great, i want to be selfish enuf, brave enuf, stupid enuf, and foolish enuf and thoughtless Dr.TLD xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx TBC...... feels like my heart is dying..or i am...i think im actully fuckin useless, keepin the tears in is so fuckin hard to do, my head feels lik its goin to blow up and i kood pu tit thru a wall, im no tmeant to be here, i wish i wasnt, yea, i do feel thsi shit actully, i cnt even describe how i feel....its too hard....everything is too hard to explain im just glad ive got some best mates close by, im probs gnna b ok,thankies i feel liek im goin insane (Comment on this)
Monday, August 28th, 2006
3:16 pm	my neopolitan livejournal entries, my thrid one lol, SAME AS BEFORE READ FROM BOTTOM OF BLOG 15th sep 05: hehe finally im seein a brighter light instead of a razor blade it only takes time!!!! kat i fuckinlove you, n im mor ethen happ yur ok, yay seein you on saturday how fuckin kool is tht!!!!!! rawr 19th aug 05: i cut myself again :s i no its all my fault lol, usaully is lmao! nuffin i can do so fuck it! kood see the whole of guilford lights from were i was, also sum chavvy boy racers but they didnt c me lol!!! 18th aug 05: well last night bout 12ish wen tup to the mount up a steap hill in pitch black, the lamp post stop at when u get to the countryside part, which was welll good :):) cos it was dead quiet + then walkin down an alley there where chavs at the end but they didnt see me lmao ;) i recorded a fox screaming lol, sounds liek blair witch up there at 1am hehe , anyways walked a little way into the country road lol ad got my ass into thew feild were u can see most of guildford + wembly|(but wasnt visable last night lol) lit up hehe :) was well good!!! i was just standing there tryin to record a fox screaming + it stopped + i herd a thing walking towards me fru the leaves lol, i moved slightly and it ran away lol and i saw a dark kinda figure standing about 100 metres away so it wasnt probaly but hey lol!!!! it was all good fun, but u gotta be crazy to actully do ythis kinda thing lol at 1am in apitch black place wjhere chavs hav just coem from + its deadly silent lol!!!! wll good :):):):) i plan to go to the darkest places...alone...at bout 1am at night obviously cos i wanna!!!!!!! 16th aug 05: i dyed my hair again hehe got my hand all red hehe :) went to tesco at half 11 last nigth got back at 3am haha went with my mates!!!! we got a diverted traffic sign hehe :) + a yellow light lol :) feeling slightly better tho, dunno why, nuffins changed in the life!!!! 16th aug 05: the story of IT: umm well yea, i met a girl called flo online, saw me in guildford, se dlets meet up we did, twas ok, there was we drunk down river, the my house, then *it* happend, then woke up in the mornin +( realized wot happend went absoultly skits downstairs talkin online to sum1 just after first time in night) lol then woke up she sed letss do it again, (i had to..because, she is only 15, if i upsetted her, she kooda gone to police + i wooda gone to prison, + id rather kill myself then go to prison, so a 2nd time ) then we went to town, she wsed she was worried(i ddid use protection) so i endded up buyin pill well at least £17 worth lol) then we met up on tuesday after, i sed can we jsut b frends, she seemed ok with it, a ltl upset at first obviously tho, but we talked, then thursday, she fones up and ses, tht she slept with another man cos she was angry at me + he got her pregnant, then thursday night, he fones up agen and ses its all my fualt she is + shes gnna kill herself, so she blames me tht her life is shit!!, friday after tht one= at river, she is all upset, then she ses there wasnt another bloke + i made her pregnant, she starts hittin + kicking me sayin i messed up her life + evereythings my fault (thing is the first time i tried to put her of fme by askin loads questions + goin yea but ur only 15 + im not special enuff + stuff, but i felt forced into it!!! anyways, sunday after tht she online + ses ill pay for what i done, then things just suddenly get better and were at present, jsut one other thing tho, she had a convo with me online bout her frends, a strange convo indded tho, im not sure i still hav it saved ill just look!! ok i dnt hav it but its along the lines of, she cnt wait to get out of this place, and tht she is testin ppl, cos she sed that ppl depend on her, and tht she can be as bitchy as she likes but they stil come up for hugs, + stuff, she told me this in an online convo, u can ask kate bout this i sent her the convo, so she knows to!!! yea its gnna b like my bad ex but both of em i gnna haunt me forever i wont b able to get rid of it, she doesnt no how much itll effect my love life in the future cos of this stupid tellin ppl stuff + havin to, cos i feel bad tht theyd b in my head + if i do hav 1 a futur gf woodnt understand what im on bout + just think im missin them or summfing im such a dam freeek lol with things like tht if ppl nu wot i fort, they understand why i want to die sumtimes the foret of neevr beein able to hav a rlationship ever again bcos of it comes into my head way too much then they dbrake up, this the reason kat + me went on abrake liek in january cos my bad ex it makes them think tht its like im thinkin of my ex's and not them, kat was like insistent tht it was cos i still had feeling s for my ex + missed her grrrrr and i loved these ppl like as much as i kood + allt hey done is fuck me asround like ppl at my skool + all the fuckers tht cheated on me bhind my back oh yea, also..haha flo she lied about me + kate on a friday night she hit me, she told fubar that me + kate kissed,wen we hadnt(me + kate kissed like few days after wen fubar + kate wernt together) apprently(not 100% sure, btu she sed on friday to sum1 tht she wanted kate away from me cos i was hers apprently too!!(this is the friday she hit me + stuff) +she sed my house was pikey, like as soon as she stepped in, i mean i say it bout my house anyways, but she like went yea it is (fubar is kates bf...or ex im too sure at the mo lol, just incase no1nu wot i was on bout lol) 14th aug 05: just like o fort it wood i got to a point were suicide came up on my mind again, yea the joy hallejujah! if it was for attention it woodnt be under just friends on a blog that is only available for me to link to!! id never dop shit liek tht anyways, its just stupid, when i think of it i mean it + i get worried because of it!!!!! cos i know i can do it the last time was when i knew i woodnt see kat for a while, i had just been shouted at by som fuck head chavs, got home, put a pair o fscissors to my wrist(open) then herd my renst + sis come in(in tears standing in my room) and took them away, at tht point i knew i kood do it if i was pushed to far with everything, thst why it scares me to even think it, it doesnt take a weak person to do it either, it was really hard for me to get that far!!! im not sure the people i like no actully how much i like them :s all those dam feelings always come back when im too sad/depressed, its enuf to turn cheese into ham!! rawr xxxx it is as though the brain gets stuck on a particular thought or urge and just can't let go It is not your fault or the result of a "weak" or unstable personality. 13th aug 05: well like yea i cant begin really i cant!!!! i dotn think i can do all this tellin eveyrone, i they might hate me are freiendships may change, i dotn want them too because i like them too much + if i lose them itll really really hurt!!! why this happning now, im nearly 21 i sit mos tof my life gnna b shit? fuck sake, ive always had to pull myself out the shit i always been in or been depressed, its so fuckin hard to cope :( i actully cant cope i always tyr to escape even tho i cant + i end up cuttin myself + then things get a ltl better, but i doubt ill do tht to myself this time!! im nto happy with my stomach at all either its too fuckin fat, yea i only weigh 11stone dead, i use dto be 10 + half i want thtagain :( my stomach is too podgy its fuckin stupid i owe my mum + dad £200 they dont no it tho, its cos my ex wanted pizza huit like everyweekend + i nu were they had money, im such a fuckin twat, i mena it was mine + hers fault, her for manipulating me sayin oh go on + me for actulyl doin it gggrrrrrrr fuck sake i am a failure at almost everything but making toast c i cnt even b serious bout mysel flmao!! o well hehe gotta laugh sumtimte in my life even if its fallin apart lol!!!!! i ahte my job, my street, the ppl living in it, the ppl who over the years sed they were mates then went behind my back i hate my grt grndad,grt gran + close friend dyin in the smae month, i ahte most things except my frends, there lovely all those special ones u can hav a kiss form me hehe :) i also hate myself for bein a twat constantly!!!! YOUR A FUCKIN BITCH AND ILL NEVER FUCKIN FORGIVE YOU FOR TAKING MY TEENAGE YEARS BITCH :*( I REALLY WANT YOU TO DIE<-- bout my bad ex, and yes it is worth it,sayin tht just then i mean lol. 12th aug 05: haha i got so fuckin drunklast night haha!! i got home sat at the pc + threw up into my bin haha, then i piked it up, took it outside, threw it onto the garden lmao i manged to get off work tho :) so it was worth it lol 11th aug 05: theres a weird feeling i get, i had it when i was with jess(bad ex) like when i wlak home late at night, lookin at the stars, in my room lookin out, listnin to certain songs (mainly industrial :s strangly lol) + i was still with jess!!! its liek feeling lonely or liek sumtihngs calling me, or im meant to be somewhere else this feeling went away the day before i met kat, it never cam back untill i left her 2months ago + it came back again, its strange! well as u may no the past 2 months hav been kinda shit for me lol! i went to taunton, by train, and on the way there i listend to *lost in a dream by 18visions* that brought back all the memories = all the feelings back for kat, they just suddenly clicked, liek a sudden change or something, it was strange, but anyways, while i was there, me + jade talked bout almost everything possable lmao!!! but was really good!! made me think bout everything that had happend + how i missed kat bein in my arms + everything bout her!!!! somethign just clicked inside me when i herd tht song tho, i mean it was liek..i dunno it just suddenly opend me up to deper inside!! on the way home, on trian again, i was just lookin at this amazing sunset, really orange clouds + red sky + was just amazing, made me feel lonely + sad + upset + that feelin came back again tht i was bein called or sumfing, but i knew it was kat + missing her! it was jsut really i dunno emotional, as soon as i kood i txted her how i felt, i just koodnt keep it in, even tho it was 2am lol!!!! but anyways, i told mia about all this obviously, cos u cant go on in a relationship if u ahv feelings for sum1 else, thats just stupid lol!!!! jaz(my ex's old friend): she told me that i was like everyone else, that i wasnt different anymore + that i shood grow up(we always used to talk botu evrything, she'd even help me out with problems and stuf!!) this has ahppend before with my other old school mate tho, he sed to me botu all that happend this month that i shood groow up + it was all my fualt that the pysho girl blamed me :s) what the fuck is with this growin up horseshit, i kinda waste d3+half years on a slavery course in hell + missed otu on basiclly everything ever just becaus of it, i dont need to grow up anyways, i dont take life too seriously anyways lol!! its like, uve known me for how long? both of u, u can fuck off as far as im concenred friends dont try to change you!!! anyways, she also told me i was like evryone else cos i cutted myself(past 2months again, yea they been pretty shit for me lol) i dont know how that makes me like evry1 else, fuck sake!!!!! + botu the terorist rant, wot u mean blair is doin everything? they fuckin attacked again didnt they, + theres too much inside stuff goin on!!! the reason i cut my chest + my arms was so id never forget the mistakes i made + that id always love kat + never forget how perfect she was!!!! my advice to any1 thts thinkin of it, dnt do it unless u really hav to!! always at the top of ur arms too!!!! if u do it lower theyll be seen its too risky near ur lower arm aswell it felt gd for me + all my mental pain went away yes it does come back soon (the pain(mental)) but if its really tht hard not to do it id always understand why i hate attention seekers that do it just for attention, i mean im definatly not, who does it where no1 can see!!! i did it for a real reason, because i was depressed + i was regrettin mistakes + needed to do it so i didnt go what i felt was mental!!!!! (im not blaming any1 for doin for attention if u hav at all tho, thts up to u) i thank all my friends that always give me there advice tho, like with my eatin + sleepin, im just awkward thats all hehe!! i appreciate it all very much tho!!!! i wish i kood eat better + sleep lol!!! now me + kat are nearly bk together, its gone again (the feeling)!!! ill always be here for my friends, theyv always been there for me!!! even my nu frends u mean just as much to me as all of them!!!! i love all my friends!! dan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 9th aug 05: before i start all my friends readin this, you know i love you all + i never want anything bad to happen to any of you cos you all mean everything to me!! i wish everyone i hate wood die, i dnt care bout them or there families, they can all go to hell!!! im fed up with bein bullied by pricks down the road or any1 that leans out a car window + shouts "goth" or "grunger" or "gay" when im not either!!! for fuckin hell sake, why cant people just leave me the fuck alone :( its not like i go round goin, o look at that ltl towny or anything!!! if i hit them im gnna get put in prison for killin them, i wont b able to stop myself beatin the living shit out of them! i wanna quit my job now, its just getin too much , its fuckin shit, yea i wood get a gardnin job elsewhere but i wanna move to camden or down by the coast somewhere, i need ot get out this shithole they call a town, yea its my home + were i grew up all my life but i really dnt care anymore!! its been a life that has been total shit for more then 20 years so like does it matter? theres only my real friends that are the only good people that are worth stayin for!!!! yea so wot im depressed, yea u kood say there are people worse off then me, but like mayb so wot? i mean just cos sumn1 can cope with somthing worse then what ive been through does not mean i can cope as easy with things that SEEM less important!!! i mean ill always listen to my friends problems when ever anytime of day at all!! worse or less worse, if its botherin them ill try + help!!!! i cant seem to shake this stupid ocd, just when things get better it always comes back to hit me down again, i really really hate it so much!! i mean its always gnna fuck me up, i doubt ill ever have a proper life if i ever get depressed! i cant handle bein taken the piss out of everyday, needin to put up with comments at work, people down the road, then at home always moanin cos im on the pc, wen i wanna talk to frends, then having to try to get over worries that i shoodnt hav to be gettin over, then bein bored + feeling lonely, while worryin bout bein too fat, missin everyone that matters to me, people critsizing my apperence,like ear-rings, dress, mind + an sti or std?!!! grrrrr fuckin hell i apologise if it seems like im goin on, but it bothers me everyday! my boss sed to me: u got ur ears pierced? i sed: yea, i wasnt drunk when i agreed either boss: percings are for girls not boys now what a fuckin retard is tht? like how many blokes hav it done boss lmao? i love all my friends!!! 8th aug 05: umm id just like to ask, who else gets like discriminated against because there young? (i no im 20-21 but its young, apprently anyways lol) but yea it happens to me old people(not all, just some) NERALY always think i cant do anything at all, always showin me how to do the easyist of things, or telling me when its fuckin blatently obvious wot to do or that needs doin!!! what the fuck is up with that? just cos sum young people are retards, doesnt mean we all are! + yes i am, but i still no wot to do if sum1 tells me the first time round, i dnt need a fuckin minder lookin after me 24/7 goin, o do this , now this, when i alredy been fruitin told! this is how u do this its also all those bad looks of disgust you get while walkin along normally, like...yea, sure + your lookin in disgust because??????? im more intrestin then the person in grey trousers + brown hair?(for example lol) i am so fuckin pissed off with people that think im incapable of doin anything at all!!! well, they can all fuck off!! i mean its not just old people tho, im not like discrimnating agenst them haha, its anyone!!!! I AM 20 NEARLY 21 NOT 2 YOU STUPID UNAWARE FUCK-UPS dan xxxxxxxxxxxxx 2nd aug 05: right kinda bout me, my life was ok till 2 of my great grndrents died + a close family member died to in the same month (twas bout....when i was...) it seriously fucked me up from then till now! ive also been bullied ever scince i was 12, just becaus i had spikey hair :s wtf is with that? lol! thren when i got into rock etc it got worse lol + still now they hate me down my road now lmao! for sum reason i seem to attract all the hate in the estate to me lol, , anyways then i was with my ex for 3+half years which was hell really(look at past blog) i also wanted to kill myself for the first time at 12 years old(and i can still rememebr bein there in my house in tears, by myself) cos of bullying + (a certain thing i hav) but there were many times to follow!! (+no i didnt do it for attention cos thats just gay + i wasnt even old enuff for the meaning of attention seeking lmao) i koodnt eve take myself into school one day cos i was so scared of the people! i got depressed + cut myself at 16 when i liked a girl + was too scare dto ask her out, + when i did she sed no anyways, she liked me in yr 7(it bein yr 11 now, typical)! ill b bk with more on this blog, dnt think this is it!!! dan xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 1st aug 05: id like to thank the people who have really been there for me through thick and thin through laughs and tears: this 2months has been hell! umm id never no were to start so this is in no order people, ull all the best: hailie: always there no matter what hour of the day online till 5am's lmao nice hehe but thank you so much for everything, it has helped sooo much!!we can always talk bout anything! always love sharing songs + writings, its really good!!!! speshillay are rants hehe ;) thanks again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx laura: i havnt even met you but still feel close enuf to talk bout everythin hehe, thank you to you for all the support + everything you helped me with over this month or so, its been more then appreciated!! lots and lots and jelly tots hehe xxxxxxxxxxxx madz: thanks for listning to me, i no we didnt really talk much but every little helps lmao(sounds liek im workin4 tesco lmao) ellie + katie: have been there while i was at the begining nearly lol, thank you so much for all youve done, it has helped me a great deal!!! ally: thank you always for your words of advice, youuve also helped me alot + hav always been right bout things! jade(taunton): probally that train ride that did it lol, 18visions hehe but thank you so much for lettin me stay over + it was really kool! you helped a lot to me!!! sam + emma + puddy kat online dudettes: all of who have all helped me always there aswell!! im always grateful for your ears + im here with mine if u need it! all of you, im here if you ever need it!! never forget that, ill never forget you!! xxxxxxxxxxx thanks to all of you who helped direct me to my normal self ( well...to what can be describe as MY NORMAL anyways hehe) ive really missed you kat, theres no1else like you in the world, you know ive always missed you + loved you more then any1, + i know you always missed me + loved me too more then anyone! your more then special in ways i cant describe!!!!!! 1st aug 05: im so glad i came to my real feelings this week, from all the shit i been through this is such a good feeling, as soon as u came online tonight i smilied the biggest smile ever when u sed"i fucking love you" ialomst died happyiness lol :D !! thursday on the train to taunton i just clicked, listnin to 18visions "lost in a dream" was always one that reminded me of you, as soon as i heard that i broke from whatever it was that was holdin me back, i just seemed to know that i needed to be back with you again, it was weird, it just kinda burst out of me hehe!!! i knew all along it was inside me, the love for you in my heart + missing you was all in my body!!!! i now cant wait to see you kat your one fuckin amazing unique woman!! i always wanted to e with you + that i missed you + loved you more then anything ever + i knew it woodnt change at all! but now, now all those things have been told to the right people, i feel a million times better + that my feeling has gone ( the bad one when i get lonley,depressed,sad even with people) has now gone again now i told you + its all goin well with you again!!! there is no1else in the world with your specialness, lovelyness, kindness, beauty + so much more at all!! love you kat <3 always <3 1st aug 05: my bad ex: the whole story (for those who want to no why i hate that bitch): met in 2001 went out for 3+half years, she cheated on me twice all the way, + lots of times she kissed other people + did other things! she alway made me clean stuff up, or do things for her, if i didnt she wood get really arsey with me + then try and make me get kicked out her house, or that id made her in a bad mood for sumthing she made a mess of! she always made me look bad or worse then her or anyone, she never gave me good comments, she told me that i was embarissing to her, like even holdin hands in public! she then tells me she's goin on holiday so she fones up + ses lets b friends (i fort this was incase she did anythign) but when she got back, she didnt expect to see me there at her house, + she then told me bout how she had dun stuff on holiday + that whike she was gon she tried to get over, she also told me that she didnt even love me properly in our first year(which to me was the best)! anyways, she only told me bout the second time she cheated on my then to, with ADRIAN WEIGHILL(who was sposed to be my mate aswell + he also cheated on his now fiance(not naming her)u buttfucker adie, in other words she treated me like a slave everyday after that first year + used me for nuffin but her own satisfaction or slavery, i now regret EVERY SINGLE SECOND of my teenage years bein with her, i missed out on loads!!! now im 20 near 21 + i feel deprived lol then her dad sed to her that i was a flounder, in other words like, probally not active enuf or daring/dangerous enuff, lmao u fat bastard ur so stupid, haha! i seriously dont care if she was to die 2moro, id fuckin go and hav a party that day! bitch i take back evry i love you! you can go to hell for all i care! Current Music: combichrist (Comment on this)
3:13 pm	thsi was my first livejournal, i think thsi was from it lol :D here is all of it this is backwards if u read it from the top its from my very first blogs!!!!!!! READ IT FROM THE BOTTOM IF U REALLY WANT IT THE RIGHT WAY ROUND feb 3rd 05 I really really miss you Kat! god i think im goin insane, when im on the fone its the only time im really happy + smiling like the cheshire cat (apart from when im actually with you) (Theres only one real reason i wanted to get a credit card tho, at first it was a certain pink + transparent + silver item (some fucker's already brought it before me...ggrrrrr lol), then a certain black leather item with little silver bits to!) The Album Fre: A Cat Called Dan: As This One We Re-unite: The Trip To A Perfect Christmas And Lifetime: This time my memories come with it: 1. Control - Alexisonfire _ Concert 2. Fadeaway - Celldweller _ To Kats 3. Goodbye - Celldweller _ To Kats for xmas 4. Own Little World - Celldweller _ Glowing mice and the first days 5. Switchback (2001) - Celldweller _ To Kats for xmas 6. Unlikely (Stay With Me) - Celldweller _ Train home from Kats 7. I Let Go - Eighteen Visions _ Kats first visit to mine 8. Lost In A Dream - Eighteen Visions _ Kats first visit to mine 9. This Time - Eighteen Visions _ Kats first visit to mine 10. Cosmopolitan Blood Loss - Glassjaw _ Talking with Kat drinkin wine till the wee hours 11. Must've Run All Day - Glassjaw _ Talking with Kat drinkin wine till the wee hours 12. Radio Cambodia - Glassjaw _ Talking with Kat drinkin wine till the wee hours 13. Tip Your Bartender - Glassjaw _ Talking with Kat drinkin wine till the wee hours 14. Trailer Park Jesus - Glassjaw _ Talking with Kat drinkin wine till the wee hours 15. Two Tabs Of Mescaline - Glassjaw _ Talking with Kat drinkin wine till the wee hours 16. Bloodwork - 36Crazyfists _ 17. Ceramic - 36Crazyfists _ Trains home from Kats after xmas and last time i saw you to 18. Circle The Drain - 36Crazyfists _ Trains home from Kats after xmas and last time i saw you to 19. Dislocate - 36Crazyfists _ Trains home from Kats after xmas and last time i saw you to 20. Slit Wrist Theory - 36Crazyfists _ Concert i wished Kat was with me + trains home from Kats after xmas and last time i saw you to Bin a while scince i last put sumthing up in here (not in a dodgy way) 2 song's (out of a now 130) i wrote: From: As This One We Re-unite: The Trip To A Perfect Christmas And Lifetime: Track 2: Handcuffed Heart: Lying on the floor with my head on the door taken in by my dreams and i live for you My backs in pain but i want it again its gone insane i dont want it to end Handcuffed to my heart is this really not a dream i cant wait for this again cause its to fuckin in me But i wait for you and i know i want to and i always will do as long as its for you I blow my mind upon the way you move and all the things you do just make me go Im tied to you forever in chains or however it doesnt bother me now anyway is fine with me No-one has the strength to tear down the walls to cut through the fence to get to my thoughts The ones i keep to myself but then you know to dont tell anyone we can keep them forever Tie me down to your eyes i let my mind go overdrive you tell me dirty words i love the way you look at me "Written on 10 + 12/1/05 by A Cat Called Dan""D" + Track 10: A Lifetime Of Memories: V- The trip to a perfect christmas and a lifetime of love a lifetime of memories for you and for me V- Always in my vision are they being with you christmas day talking with you all night being at the concerts we like C- Nothing like it in the world i couldnt pray for a more perfect girl You make everything set fire the world V- With all these memories in here i could never run out of the happiness inside for you will always keep running through V- I will return what you do what you've given to me ill try to show it to you Your still more then perfect everyway V- The neverending story stopped but my love for you will not its always been unexplainable your really something unbelievable V- I still remember the first day when i saw you and that amazing face we connected straight away when i first got off of that train V- The first time you came to me theres nothing that can reason it what i feel for you still now when you left i just broke down V- There is so much more to say i could remember forever all the things we ever done its all so clear and is so fun V- But i know theres plenty more to come from the one i adore alot more then a lifetimes worth of love and good time memories "Written on 31/1/05 by A Cat Called Dan""D" "Accompanied by A Cat Called Dan: As This One We Re-unite: The Trip To A Perfect Christmas And Lifetime cd" I had such a fuckin good xmas. aaaahhh man i couldnt've dreamed up a better one! it was the best xmas so far, as well as halloween last year!!! scince the 18th september + then the 28th ive been the happiest man alive! As long as im with you Kat i know i will be always be the happiest i ever will + kood be! But at the mo, im missin you (Kat) like fuckin crazy and beyond! I cant wait to see you again aaaahhhhh man!! I love you Kat!!!!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 12th dec 04 Boo many'r dream have been strange lol, Im looking for mushrooms and screws i wont fucking go, you cant make me The exorcist Thank u Kat for the more then perfect more then amazing more then everything and anything more then......aaaaaaa weekend!!!!! i cant explain the way i feel for you (but there more then good feelings, u know what i mean!!!) i wish i kood so much!!! i wanna tell/show/let you know how much i love you!!! its so unexplainably more then unreal + .......aaaaaaa!!!!! i more then love you so so so so so so so so so much Kat!!!!!! i brought grrrrr night-prowler's hehe ;) + a Hiding with girls hoody at the The bled, Alexisonfire + Hiding with girls gig on thursday night yay with Kat!!!!!!!! :)!!! i miss you fucking much Kat!!!! i wish + want + need to be with you forever and always + so so so so much much longer!!!! i really cant wait to see you again i really really cant take bein without you + its really more then painfull!!! when i see your face in the morning when i wake up it so more then..........aaaaaaa lovely + beautifull!!!(it is always, u know what i mean!!) god i more then love you so fuckin much Kat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 25 oct 04 I fuckin love you beyond everything else ever! nothin koodv prepared me + nothin kan ever explain the way i felt when i first saw you (And its still as clearly seen in my mind as the time it happnd + it was jst so............ye, your absolutly more then amazing + more then perfect + more then.......ye!!!! It has been the best weekend of my life + absolutly no1 else is ever gna make me feel tht way apart from you! omg i jst really cnt explain how i feel, youv blown my mind on such a scale tht its irrepearable + im gna b happy for the rest of my life (And that is a really really good thing)! Aaaaahhhhh man aaaaahhhhhh......i love you so so so so so so so so much more then anything / everything!!! All my love to you the one! from me the cat! :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> 19 oct 04 The original album: A Cat Called Dan: 1. Dr. online - Zeromancer 2. Switchback (Remix) - Celldweller 3. Slit wrist theory - 36Crazyfists 4. Bloodwork - 36Crazyfists 5. One thing - Gravity kills 6. Guilty - Gravity kills 7. Blame - Gravity kills 8. Symbiont (Remix by nucl) - Celldweller 9. Symbiont (Evil of love mix) - Celldweller 10. Clone your lover (Project pitchfork remix) - Zeromancer The album i made b4 the others lol! oct 18 04 Album 2! Dan, A Cat Called: 1. Perfect one - Lit 2. Switchback (Radio edit) - Celldweller 3. Switchback (Remix) - Celldweller 4. Symbiont - (Remix by nucl) - Celldweller 5. Symbiont (Evil of love mix) - Celldweller 6. Symbiont (Remix by machine cor) - Celldweller 7. Action-reaction - MDFMK 8. Symbiont (Special edition album demo) - Celldweller 9. So sorry to say (Special edition album demo) - Celldweller 10. Fear - Celldweller 11. Kemikal - Celldweller 12. Personal jesus (Weird demo kind of remix) - Gravity kills 13. Save yourself (Remix) - Stabbing westward 14. Am I In Sync? - Circle of dust (Klayton's (Singer from celldweller) old band) 15. Personal jesus (Rude photo motor remix) - Marilyn manson 16. Mobscene (The death sexy mix) - Marilyn manson Well thats a remix album of A Cat Called Dan, lol 16 oct 04 Theres nothin i hvnt alredy sed tht can still explain the way i feel! its so....ye + wow + ....ye!! It makes me wonder is this why i hav been through all the past bad times so it kood try and make up / equal itself out for meetin u + u makin me so happy all the time, coz there has been no moment bein with u tht has been bad or felt wrong in anyway! But the past times kood never match / equal itself to the happines + love that you have given me!!!!!!!(even tho its only been 4weeks exactly, hehe kool!!!!) And those 4weeks have felt like such a long time! (in a really good way!!) But to be with someone + be so happy + be so loved in this way is something that ive never had someone feel for me before and i have also never felt this way bout someone else before either!! Like i said at the begining i really cnt explain this! its beyond anything tht my mind can come up wiv to try + explain it! (+ i hav a pretty random mind) Nothing can explain more then perfect, but thts what you are to me!!!!! 10 oct 04 .........ye how do you let someone know you more then just love them!?! aaahh man! i had the longest convo ever last nite / this morning! lol for 14hours!!! your so fuckin more then amazing!!! 8 oct 04 Hehe my ltl hunny pot of unbelivable more then perfect-ness! wow ....ok...wow today has been yet even better which is incredable aaahhhh i miss you so much + i wish i was with you to tell you how much i care + love you! The playlist and The album remind me of you so much (i dont even need remindin coz im always thinkin of you!!! Tis a gd thing!!) + i want to be with you so much!! xxxxxx your the only person in the world that can love me this much + make me this happy and lets me be me + ......ye!! everything thts special doesnt match up to your more then perfect-ness! :> :> :> :> :> xxxxxx God iv bin so speechless coz of all the lovely things you are + say to me! When my site gets publishd again youll see some songs on there a whole album that only partly can explain how i feel! (Called: A Cat Called Dan) I played the shit out of Waterhaul (36Crazyfists) + Para-noir (Marilyn manson) on bass today coz im on such a high, lol Ok im: Very much feelin like im ina dream Very hyper Very happy Very loved Very .....ye Very excited Very nervous This is whats on The Album / Playlist: The Album: A Dan Called (C)at: 1. The Fisherman Song - 36Crazyfists 2. 44. Caliber Love Letter - Alexisonfire 3. The Heart And The Shape - 36Crazyfists 4. Mechanical Animals - Marilyn Manson 5. No Transitory - Alexisonfire 6. Waterhaul - 36Crazyfists 7. Waiting For The Heavens - Eighteen Visions 8. Belief (To Rust) - Gravity Kills 9. Polariods Of Polar Bears - Alexisonfire 10. Coma White - Marilyn Manson 11. Dream - Godhead 12. Skin And Atmosphere - 36Crazyfists 13. Control - Alexisonfire 14. Disintergrate - Gravity Kills 15. The Last Day On Earth - Marilyn Manson 16. It Was Fear Of Myself That Made Me Odd - Alexisonfire 17. One Thing - Gravity Kills 18. Bloodwork - 36Crazyfists 19. Perfect one - Lit The Playlist: All Alexisonfire All 36Crazyfists Eighteen Visions - Love In Autumn, Waiting For The Heavens All Gravity Kills Lit - Perfect One Celldweller - Symbiont (Remix by nucl), Frozen, Symbiont (Remix by machine cor), Symbiont (Evil of love mix), Own little world Marilyn Manson - Last Day On Earth, Last Day On Earth (Live Acoustic*), Coma White, Mechanical Animals, Great Big White World, Great Big White World (Live*) (*=The Last Tour On Earth Album) Godhead - Dream MDFMK - Action - reaction Thats what i been listning to! Perfect songs for a more then perfect person! Some may be a bit weird but all of them remind me of you + they have ltl things in them tht only partly explain how i feel! oct 5 04 hello again aahhh i hav the cold 4 once in my life im actully ill, but its not a gd thing tho!!!! but k always manages 2 make me smile even when im ill, yay!!!!has cheerd me up so so much!!!+always does when im not ill 2!:) :) :) :) ive never found it so hard to make a cd, its hard when like whole albums are wot remind you of sum1+iv never had tht problem b4!!lol!! I also found the song i wrote bout havin a certain feeling and it dissapeard + i wrote a song bout it the day b4 i met K!+i hav never had tht feeling scince!!! Yay its been a week!! Best of my life!!!! but then it has been scince the 18th!:) :) :) :) :) :) Perfect Undescribable Hyper Very Happy 36 Crazyfists 18 Visions Lit Alexisonfire Gravity Kills Zeromancer Celldweller oct 4 I jst dunno how to describe how perfect u are! its unbeliveable+i love you so much ive never bin this happy in my whole life!!! ive never felt these feelings before+its jst so hard to explain to tell u how much i really really love you!!! ah man....i jst cnt describe it!!! im jst so happy! seriously wow!!!!!!! +im v.v.v.v.v happy tht i make u feel the same!!!! sep 26th holy moon cheese and glowing mice im on the biggest high i have ever had + its all coz of 1 v.v.v.v.v.special person!!!! i feel like im gonna blow up! its so crazy!!!! +i had a 5hour chat of the most randomist things+it was so kool i cant explain how i feel!!!!! on my mobile last nite, which was r.r.r.kool!!! (i didnt care bout my cred runnin out, but it only cost £6) anyway fuck(so much).....i was sittin down+i jst went dizzy coz all the excitement,lol!!! i kood sit here and write all day bout the kool things but i wont(ssshhhh tis a secret)!!! lol orion the hippo looks like a weeble!lol cotton wool clouds, coathangers+cotton sheep + orange cats + mice from jupiter aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ps: im more then jst hyper, its jst that theres nothing in the world (or my world) how to describe how i feel!!!!!!(bout u) sep 23 Hehe Hi ya!! another brilliant day!!! I wrote another 2 songs tonight!! brought 36crazyfists album "A snow capped romance" tis v.kool (Thank you!!) im so glad i met u!!! :) :) :) :) Thank you!!!!!! the week has felt like a dream!!+has bin so so so so so so kool!! + so so funny!! lol my jaw aches now+ i cant stop smiling! Cats are funny! hehe! :) Current Mood: hyper Current Music: 36Crazyfists + Alexisonfire! (Comment on this) 3:22 am Cats, hehe Hello!! man is it a gd day 2day!!! i had a 8+1/2 hour convo til just now online, with the koolist of people!!!!!+ theyv made me very happy+extatik!!! they also introduced to me 36 crazyfists! gd band!!! ah man!! its jst so kool!!! (C)at u rule!!!+ lst nite it was really random convo's from cats,hehe, to coathangers!lol, I hav bin smiling non-stop scince i cnt remember now!! I also wrote 3 new songs+ a new project called "A Cat Named Dan" Thank you!!! sep 21 I wrote another 2 songs after coming offline last nite!(which was today!!!) hehe! today was ok, was quite gd at work, + when i got home i talked to my friend online twas really kool :)!!!!! downloadd some more musik!!!the bloody computer only went+crashd wen i had loads on there didnt it,lol! now into new band "Alexisonfire" + there kool! (Thank you!)+ i was gona eat some cake today but it was off :(! owell, get some 2moro! randomly walked to the 24hour garage bout hour ago to, to get sum cred! why wnt this thing work, ive tried bout 20 times to update my journal + it wont!! hopefully 2moro i will write another song, well i shood really say later! 19 sep Today i got up(tierd) went online came off (bored) then played guitar (ok-ish) stoppd tht came bk online then startd talkin to another really kool friend(happy)then i think o ill av a party(no parents)(hyperactiveness)so i fone around for ppl but there busy(as usal)then my ex phones me bk up+ im feeling guilty for nothing(sad) + then my friend(hello 2 u!) cheers me up well loads(v.happy)and we have hav kool chat!! well thts today in short form,hehe + i also wrote another song 18 sep I mustv gone thru so many emotions this month its almost non-worldly, i found this month weirder then a....well i dunno, just weird! I also wrote another 2 songs re-writ 2 oldies 2day scince my lst entry! Current Music: the tetrosic (Comment on this)
1:54 pm	hello.....again over a year of no blogs on this thing, time to change that i think lol. i hav ea very very very very very very beautiful girlfriend called Jade :D:D:D:D:D:D:D<33333333333333333333333333 im on song 471 now errr... yes well haha!!!! my hair is extrodinalrly odd haha as always! ill be back later to update mroe haha in detail haha :P Current Music: hocico (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
3:59 pm	darkside account i now have on my darksite----- all my songs i hav ever written evrysingle problem i have ever had with anyone!! anyways its pretty full up alredy haha!! but is very good for me to hav that there!!!! haha rawr yea Current Mood: amused Current Music: god (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
3:01 am	(s)aint (-:c yea i have another account on here, it has all my darkest stuff, all the truth about my past certain things that people dont know really, like names of people who have betrayed me, things like that, why i hate certain people, my feelings that seem to be weird, only my real gd friends will be gettin a link to this tho! :)!! people i can trust with my life!! because they neevr judge me + never change the way they think about me!!!! im tired lol, relly tired, lmao im writing songs hehe!!! anyways, SILENT HILL (you no, the best computer game EVER is ocming to damn film atlast!! thanks to pixie i now no that its coming out in 2006 yayayayayayy fucking yay lol im wellexcited not as excited as i am bout seein kat again tho, i cnt wait to be with you kat xxxxxxxx love you loadsa + loadsa!!! :D Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: static-x (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 1st, 2005
8:40 pm	id like to thank the people who have really been there for me through thick and thin through laughs and tears: this 2months has been hell! umm id never no were to start so this is in no order people, ull all the best: hailie: always there no matter what hour of the day online till 5am's lmao nice hehe but thank you so much for everything, it has helped sooo much!!we can always talk bout anything! always love sharing songs writings, its really good!!!! speshillay are rants hehe ;) thanks again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx laura: i havnt even met you but still feel close enuf to talk bout everythin hehe, thank you to you for all the support everything you helped me with over this month or so, its been more then appreciated!! lots and lots and jelly tots hehe xxxxxxxxxxxx madz: thanks for listning to me, i no we didnt really talk much but every little helps lmao(sounds liek im workin4 tesco lmao) sophie: ur always there for me + always bring a smile to my face with ur hyperness...that strangely comes from me :s lol take care, gd to c ur happy with ur nu bf btw :) ellie katie: have been there while i was at the begining nearly lol, thank you so much for all youve done, it has helped me a great deal!!! ally: thank you always for your words of advice, youuve also helped me alot hav always been right bout things! jade(taunton): probally that train ride that did it lol, 18visions hehe but thank you so much for lettin me stay over it was really kool! you helped a lot to me!!! sam emma puddy kat online dudettes: all of who have all helped me always there aswell!! im always grateful for your ears im here with mine if u need it! all of you, im here if you ever need it!! never forget that, ill never forget you!! xxxxxxxxxxx thanks to all of you who helped direct me to my normal self ( well...to what can be describe as MY NORMAL anyways hehe) ive really missed you kat, theres no1else like you in the world, you know ive always missed you loved you more then any1, i know you always missed me loved me too more then anyone! your more then special in ways i cant describe!!!!!! ps: anyone who isnt mentioned will get one/longer thanks laters!! :D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: celldweller (Comment on this)
8:18 pm	IM NOT INDIVIDUAL BUT IM DIFFRENT TO EVERYONE ELSE COS EVEYONE WANTS TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL NORMAL PEOPLE DONT ACT THAT WAY, WHO WANTS TO BE NORMAL ANYWAY ok so i dyed my hair black all over to get away from the sudden oooo i want pink hair craze, now it has bright red/pink strips in it, thts to show the people that copy, how its done properly! fuck anyone who wants to copy me, ur hair'll fall out haha!!! doubt it but there we go lmao!!!!! anyways! i am intitled to my own opinion on anything i want to talk about no matter what i say!!!! and no, i dnt mean offence + i dnt mind other opinions but if something i do2myself upsets u or u dont like, well fuck you, its my fuckin life, i can do what i want no matter what lol, doin certain things for certain reasons doesnt make you the same inside as ervyone else, it makes you different because you do it for different reasons + hav good reasons for doin it!!! no one has the right to critize a person own actions upon themselves or in nearly any situation, only opinions + it has to be made clear that its an opinion + not up to that person to try + change anothers ways!! ive seen parts of umm.. o ye "supersize me" it hasnt put me off mcdonalds at all lol, it actully makes it rebeilious for kids lol, but i mean i still survive on a mcflurry every saturday lmao i dnt care if it is just e-numbers lol it tastes nice haha ---> who really cares bout saving your own life, eg. cigerettes, alcohol, drugs, stayin in the sun, eating junk food?, if thats what you want to do, then do it, you know the full consequneces of it + if ya dont like it, well then dont do it lol!!! i wood actully start smokin just for fun if i ever did, just so i kood hav smoke brakes or keep warmer in winter + to keep the horse flies at work away(i think it actully works too lol)<------ ------>o ye btw any1 up for a ltl terrorist hunting, ya no like fox hunting but with terrorists instead, respect animals man!!!! (even rats deserve life)<------ Current Mood: angry Current Music: celldweller (Comment on this)
8:17 pm	God damn this is only my view, i mean no offence to any religion cos its wot u belive,its up to u!! i thought there is only one god? if god/'s was alive - he's killin innocent people (every single day, when they dont deserve it + have done nothing wrong), telling them to kill themselves if god/'s made the world - he made satan, he made man (u no wot i mean through evolution...opps i mean adam + eve), he made law I think the concept of satanism is totally misconcieved too!! i saw on a website some of the things considered to be satans work lmao (this was a few years back now, it wasnt a real satanic bible but ya no lol, doubt theyll b that kool + let us see it for free lmao) my view on god: its a total waste of time, its all horseshit, we evoled from apes, mary was a whore, jesus was a dopehead that wrote a book + then got famous cos he went round sayin o look i can heal ppl + alk on water(that sounds like a madman to me lol cos i walk on water aswell when im drunk lmao)anyways seriously, he's killin people left right and centre, he let his own son kill himself without hesitating(wot kind of loving caring father does that?i know i woodnt want my son/daughter, if i had one,to do that, why bother with all these churchs either? i mean, look what did all the dyin kids inin the 3rd world do? o, mayb thts what christian aids for, to give money for guns?+ to make up for god makin the mistake of killin millions evry year with no cause!! and this bit ina sec is sooooo fookin true (not all the points but alot of them are) i mean even black or gay ppl are looked down upon by sum religous types + that is just wrong!!!! i mean whats wrong with like...i dunno be revengfull smetimes, fuck lettin people get away with shit like murder or fuck up terrorists that think there god's ltl helpers!!! what bout all those deformed children born? did they plot to kill the world beofre they kood think? god may not be real, but i have an open ear to my friends whenever, no matter what faith you are!!!!!! EXTRACT FROM THE OFFCIAL SATANIC BIBLE: 1.satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence! 2.satan represents vital exsistance, instead of spirtual pipe dreams! 3.satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit! 4.satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love on wasted on ingrates! 5.satan represents vengance, instead of turning the other cheek! 6.satan represents responsibility to the responsable, instead of concern for psychic vampires! 7.satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse then those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development" has become the most vicious animal of all! 8.satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification! 9.satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years! ME AGAIN: JUST THINK ABOUT IT!!!! dan loves y'all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Comment on this)
8:15 pm	set fashion not follow set fashion not follow: me bein different is just me, i dyed my hair cause i wanted to, not because all others hav started to in gford now to dye it pink too or add la funkly colours :( yea fair enuff if ya want to, but i aint someone who is gnna b in any crowd/stereotype at all! this is why with the help from my fwend + hair dye i hav re-dyed my hair totally black, if people dont like me now you can kiss my ass but i like black, im bein myself(as i always have been), not someone else, if sum1 does sumffing i usaully do the opposite lmao cause im just weird lol! anyways i dunt even no why im writing this lol! yes im unconventional, all my friends no this + they like me for me! i hate fashion (the word means fuck all but stereotype) im a me, just me, not emo, nor goth, nor grunge, nor cyber, nor anything!! i wear wot i want, do what i want, look like i want (if u get wot i mean id rather look nicer but i cnt change my bloody mug lol) but yea! i fookin hate it!!!! i dnt wanna fit in really, i dnt like bein the same, i think its funny that im really really hated for bein myself down my road + anywere lmao, stoopid, my words to you are: wear what YOU like, dont follow any1 just cause its kool!! BE YOURSELF FUCK WHAT ANYONE THINKS IF YOUR MY FRIEND ILL STILL LOVE YA! love dan xxxxx Current Mood: angry Current Music: limp bizkit (Comment on this)
8:05 pm	terrorism day of bombing, thursday, 1st week: my ex gf + 2 very close mates were in london today if anything had happend to them i wooda died, i wooda gon up to london no matter what to find them!!! but there ok thank fuck!!!!! i want you to know that i love you!!!! first of all my sorrow heart goes out to anyone who has lost/not heard from there loved ones/friends or was hurt or is still worried your pain is felt all over!! if u dont like what i say...go fuck yourself, its my opinion hey terrorists *waves* you fuckin sick bastards, bunch of dickless arse wiping cunts!!! http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b251/iamtheblob/mehehehee.jpg government: 700 people injured 37 dead<<-- is this all they care about? why not put names on tv? woodnt that help rest the minds of people who care? in such a time, it doesnt take much to be considerate to people instead!!!!making them people a statistic is just wrong in everyway (if they were famous itd b talked bout 4ever every1 wood no there names!! this is how it shood be 4every1, normall ppl deserve to be rememebered no matter what, they have lives familys friends!!!) fuckin government has a lot to answer for!!! tony blair president bush are definatley fuck buddys of sum kind!! theres no way im ever forgiving any terrorist ever(like sum ppl will)!! cant anyone see that this has happend? too scared of the truth, face reality all control fades? im not over this at all, even tho i didnt lose anyone, it will always b part of my memories!! shood we blame god for this???: no use prayin to it, its the one who sent them fuckhead terrorist over here isnt it? thats what they say anyways, i alredy new there wasnt one but this is kinda fucked whyd god kill off innocent people? whyd he tell terrorists to bomb us when we dun fuck all? anyway who the fuck you think you are u pussy arse terrorists lmao how gay must u be to use bombs not your fist? fuckers shood come over here then try lol definatly kick your arse i shood fuckin think!!! its times like these the fight song makes perfect sense! this is the last time im ordering a pizza hut without a bombsquad lmao!!! dan <333 hope u all ok out there!!!!! pray your life was just a dream? course this blog is goin public like i give a fuck lol song: loved ones last one Loved Ones Last One: I feel honoured i can still hold those hands others arnt so lucky they have to stand alone in a dark room alone with no-one why cant they see its destroying you and me Its not fair on the people that live what did you want with the innocent is it your god telling you those lies or the red white blue inbetween the lines A lovers last kiss on this day i shooda let you know i wanted to tell you i love you so but i couldnt get there before you go Only 40 people to the news readers these people were living before this disaster we cant hate enough it seems thats it well theres no plasters that this one can fit One day we'll be at peace together forever this day will never be soon enough never soon enough for all the broken hearts can you say you never said goodbye the way you wanted cant you say they told you they love you My body left my heart today i thought you'd gone i was lost with no direction no-one to turn to the only comfort was some hope i had left while evrything seemd to crumble down my head "Written on 8/7/05 by Deathsstarr" today i feel blue day after 1st attack: it still doesnt feel real!! im not gonna even watch the news tonight, i herd when i got a fone call from my mum asking if i was in london, i sed no, she sed theres been an explosion + people are missin limbs, i was like wtf?! this is at bout 9:40-50 ish i guess! then all we herd was on the radio that there was another station + another + another + then a bus then croyden was closed + people we're told to get out of london if they wernt living there, all i have heard today is sirens goin past work! i thankfully got messages from my gf + my close mates up in london by lunch time, it was + still is upsettin that its happend!! its something i(+many others wont forget) i cant thank anyone enough that my gf<33 + friends + family are ok, i no theres others worse off!! here are some songs ive written dedicated to the people Bomb Squad Pt1: The dullest tunes from these blues come from the mouth of the ones whose cry the ones who die become one more number on the growing list just gets longer The reaal people live on in are hearts you dying actors should just fuck off the real people dying never got to breath always breathing you always seem to see No-one cares anymore we've all turned into are whore's returning no favours always taking the government terrorists always raping Just because they have no life themselves they take are peoples and they sell everything to everyone a god thats told to kill they always will always will Arent we just pretendin that everything is fine can we carry on when so many have passed dont even rememeber who was in this class maybe youll forget the horror one day soon But then shouldnt we remember the dead loved freinds and family "Written on 7/7/05 + 8/7/05 by Deathsstarr""Dedicated to those lost/hurt/loved in the london bombing today pt1" Family reunion Pt2: The flames were higher today higher then any other day they were burning in our souls burning in our eyes unfolds The edge is showing now the fear is startin to grow no-one coulda predict the terror how could we ever no How could you let this happen how could you pick up your weapons hope you know your dying hope you know your taking everything i love You had almost taken from me the one person i love the most other people arnt as lucky as me they have to keep searching the street Your not taking these lives there still with the broken hearted its impossable to replace a face but to be in here is to remind We'll always love you people never forgotten never departing always a part of you apart of me im feeling it all im feeling your pain Life has never been good to anyone it will never be fair in anyway take this shit today never foget the pain memories of love never fade away "Written on 8/7/05 by Deathsstarr""Dedicated to those lost/hurt/loved in the london bombing today pt2" to all the people affected in any way by london 7/7/05 you'll always live on on the second bombing 2weeks later: i think ppl may hav been expecting this so...hahaha u fuckin losers it didnt work this time very well!! stupid brainless twats, haha i also herd that sum1 tried to run after the terrorists,i wish i was up there today i wooda run after them smashed there face in personally!!! umm tony blair did fuck all again just said "o yea, umm... there only doin it to scare us(yes we gathered that much alredy) so much for like bein real high level security haha ye! i actully laughed when i heard they ran after the terrorist lol, i fort that was hillariouslly fuhnny, only bad thing was they didnt catch him lol!!!! anyone wanna go to london next thursday with me? hehe ;) anyways ye, terrrorists, blair bush, your all fuckin retards!!! all u do this--> (me with hand to head like gun)<--- but with real guns without hurtin people that havnt don jack the innocent are not guilty, the death shood be your own blood, die now or face eternal punishment, you stupid fuckers will burn in hell!! we will fight you, and we will kick the shit out of you dan new song: Anyone For Rebellion?: Blair blah blah blah who the fuck you think you are? collecting money for our lives let the terrorists cry One by one how long will this go on how long how long You drive away limosine all but you know what i mean i want terror dead as flies with all you project lies So we let them in to destroy are land is this your way of sayin that you dont care Oh suicide bombers die while we all watch in surprise we cannot wipe away the tears from our mothers eyes Your lies have wounded us a safer london i think not ill continue bein strong through out all this is wrong the innocent are not guilty the death shood be your own blood die now or face eternal punishment you stupid fuckers will burn in hell we will fight you we'll kick the shit out of you "Written on 21/7/05 22/7/05 by Neopolitan Boy" yea, for those ppl out there about to say yea but there are innocent ppl over there too, yea i do no that i didnt say all--> "them" are terrorists, it was a blast at terrorists + terrorists only! not innocent ppl tht are bein killed over there too! just fort id let you know that im not blind! but i dont care anyway! haha Current Mood: angry Current Music: celldweller (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
3:36 am	Death And Heaven / Snozcumber i kood post a pik up, but i dnt want to lol!! ;) well i cnt exactly write what i did on saturday, but it wasnt nice!! i had a really shite weekend + now im depressed + it fuckin sucks bad, i dyed my hair again!!! added more black + more blonde, new piks are up, but not approved yet!!! i just wanna die!!! i dnt care if my hair falls out either lol!!! i went out friday with my cousin + his 2 mates got well pissed + messed around town!!! my grrrr*shakes fist + then violently kicks the upstairs pc to shit* my dwnstairs pc didnt work 4 3days :( no internet!!!!! then i tried to use my harddrive to fik it + its now fucked my upstairs one up tottaly all my music now gone(apartf rom cds luckly!!!! my life has gone downhill all the way scince friday the......6th!!! Death And Heaven: Death and heaven i smash my walls up to save my face im introducing my arms to the scissors again It isnt fair on me to have this im dying inside and its crushing me from the outside This cant keep happining to me ill just give myself an overdose of sugar get myself diabetic Cause im a age old concern of the death of heaven everywhere you think i even care now about myself Well i dont now im ruined its been far too long for me to go crazy things hav built up now its just hazey I think things over and over and over again u cant replace them ever this time i will drink till death on this red wine Now, my arm bleeds this, is why i, cant be "Written on 16/5/05 by A Cat Called Dan""D" Snozcumber: I need it again the pain and feeling stand there breathing my arms now bleeding Screwed all up my life oh fuck now everyones gone ill end up stuck Ive been changing my ears are ringing please cant someone stop me thinkin This is all in my mind you cant tell me im fine i have bloodloss floor dying no one saw me cry These scissors sting but they dont hurt i cant afford this blood on my shirt Keeping them hidden i will from the weak something thats forbidden addiction my new disease "Written on 15/5/05 by A Cat Called Dan""D" people want dark songs, this is all i can offer in terms of darkness + close-ness to reality, i kood go deeper! Current Mood: dead Current Music: static x - shadow zone (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 30th, 2005
11:23 pm	o yes ;) hehe i saw hitchhikers giude to the galaxy today with luke, jack + becky, i went absolutly beserk on mcflurrys lol, i was inside a bush out side the cinema(this is at night) and kept makin the bush shake + scared the shit out of people, it was well funny!!! ooo im so doin it again when im next in town!!!! im gonna make my own tv show lol, we decided to call it warnervision! ;p woohoo alex gig in 3days-ish, + luke can go to ffaf hehe yey! all im eatin is sour wine gums + mcflurrys :) + bountys o wot fun it is!!!! Current Mood: crazy Current Music: i dont care (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
8:17 pm	hoorrah / more song extracts i saw the amityville horror last night, i got the suposed "real" story of what happend on : http://www.myspace.com/fawltyguy in my blog page, its the most recent one! twas good!!!! played cards till 1am in the mornin with my mate karl in his new flat, which was kool, also got slightly drunk lol, it took ages to take 1 turn at cards lol!!!!! it tasted nice (the drink, not the cards)! random fact on the different coloured eye: its sposed to be where evil has been drawn out of whoever has the miscoloured eye! thts it o wot fun lol!!! well they didnt get it all out of me,lol!!! Song Night: ive had to go down many roads but this one has no ending At least im not a teenager now i dont have long till everyone has a smile I must at least say its been a while My time has come i feel it in my bones theres been a change now i feel strange And i cant take this anymore Current Mood: stressed Current Music: celldweller (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
11:12 pm	questionaire type thing lol River ~ 66% Water ~ 55% Wind ~ 51% Earth ~ 55% Fire ~ Big sky above me, a river inside me And I'm doubled up in love. Let’s see... your personality reminds me of the... ...deep Emerald that promotes love, serenity and intuition. Your colours are the deep green of the sea, silver, but also the tender rosé. (Boys, just live with it! :D) Interpretation: Out of the seven chakras, the Heart Chakra, which is associated with the element of water and represents our sense of love and compassion, seems to be predominant in you. Although this means you are probably the most caring and romantic person you know, it may result in indecision or depression. You can balance it by wearing a Lace Agate; it inspires joy, optimism and positive thinking. You may want to avoid wearing a Moonstone, as it will likely cause you to be moody and scattered. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 82% on water You scored higher than 6% on wind You scored higher than 25% on earth You scored higher than 19% on fire Link: The Elemental Balance Test written by Nitsuki on Ok Cupid Current Mood: crazy Current Music: finch (Comment on this)
8:10 pm	extract from songs : 186 + 187 "i dont want the things i have right now, to go evrything kood change with words, unspoken words words that are only mine from now on in i cant repeat all that ive done from the words that are unspoken are words from the death that nearly was so convincing everyday but thats the past" "everyone may dance in the fast lane but when it pours for me it rains the ground is moving around outside the road now glistens from bein so dry as the darkness fills up the sky" if im not with Kat i just wanna die! :) oooo i just realized something, i put wednesday 13's song haunt me on track 13 of my madeup cd, i didnt do tht on purrpuss!!! i wanna go to london really bad, like loads!!! i really hate my past, i wanna know why i cant let go, i wanna just grrrrrr fuck sake, get rid of it all so i wasnt fucked up, or had some slavedriving ex to make it worse! i dunno what to do with myself, im gonna leave it here for now, im not sure what to write, except (SOME FUCKIN FRIEND YOU ARE BASTARD<--2jamie--> o ye really go ignore you for no reason, mmmm sure, i was in the bk of the car @@@::@@@@:@:@::@@::@@ im not telepathic, ur a fuckin twat for calling me immature(even tho i am lol) but ur the one who started to ignore me anyway!! its ur own fault! i dont care) :) hope all my friends are well where ever u are :) *waves* Current Mood: crazy Current Music: just the best goddamn music ever! (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
10:14 pm	i want you...dead <-- is a song :) i went to hmv yesterday and got asked for ID when buyin 18 rated dvds, im fuckin well 20, so me + my friend went all the way back to my house 2get my passport + went bk2 get the dvds!! its happend b4 when buying cigerettes 2 last year when i was 19 i koodnt buy these cigs for my mate(who was 18 at the time was at his house(+so was i lol) i was just doin a favour coz i wanted 2 go the shop) coz he asked for ID and i didnt hav any on me, coz theres no reason to carry a passport round when ur over the age! whats the world coming to! im also bein hit on by this gay guy that works in the 24 hour garage near me, so know im not goin in there on sunday afternoons at all! why me o why me for fuck sake, I AM NOT GAY MOTHERFUCKER and + I DONT HAVA PROBLEM WITH GAY PEOPLE EITHER but this bloke is a proper dickhead, he said "mayb we shood hang out one time, ill come round or something" he said! + he's like trying to get round my house and force his way in or something, he better not fuckin follow me or anything, ill fuckin hit that son of a bitch aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuckin people (all my family + friends are kool tho dont worry lol :) ) hello people, hope ur all havin fun lol ;) Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: the used (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
1:45 am	hello wow look how long its been lol *aatchu* lol transylvania 90210 wednesday 13's album is good + so is the used, take it away!!! hehe yea, what i dunno!!! dont start, just finish, grrr Current Mood: crazy Current Music: wednesday 13 (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
9:28 pm	alexisonfire, bad, things brings back memories :) i feel like bursting into tears :( i wish i kood Current Mood: sad Current Music: alexisonfire, emanuel (2 Comments |Comment on this)